The 10 Unluckiest People
by bubblyangel101
Summary: As you know, Aoyama Gosho has created many, many unlucky characters. But who exactly are they? Read on to find out.
1. Chapter 1

The 10 Unluckiest People

#10. Megure Juuzou

No one really paid attention to Inspector Megure. Why bother, when you can look at beautiful Satou-keiji or cute Takagi-keiji? _Sigh. _Totally ignored by the world, he tries to gather their attention. But no one notices the new hat; it's as if it's always been there. Until one day...

"Megure-keibu! What's with the hat?" a young subordinate asks.

Megure nearly choked on his coffee with delight. Finally! Maybe he isn't so unlucky after all...


	2. Chapter 2

heh heh...I hope the first chapter turned out all right? Oh well...here's the next chapter. Well, they're not really chapters (they're so short!) but who cares!

oOo

#9. Kisaki Eri

Kudou Yukiko has an awesome husband, no doubt about it.

1. He is very intelligent. (They don't call him "Mr. Detective" for nothing!)

2. He makes lots of money. Not to be envious, but it IS kind of nice when your husband makes millions and millions of dollars off his bestselling novels.

3. He is loyal. As most of you already know, Mouri Kogoro is not really loyal. Change that-he is not loyal at all. Who else flirts with anyone that's living, breathing, and has breasts?

The list could go on and on, but it stops here. Poor Eri-san!


	3. Chapter 3

tum de dum...I hope this is OK! It's my first fic, so please review! *chews on fingernail stubs*

Disclaimer: I don't own! Sorry, I forgot to put this earlier...

oOo

#8. Satou Miwako

Satou-san has a lot of plusses. Examples: beauty, youth, intelligence, popularity. You might be wondering why she's on the "unlucky" list.

Well...you can take the fact that her father died when she was young, or that her parents are always looking for someone to pair her up with. But really, the "popularity" thing is kind of a minus, too. Who wants someone spying on you when you're dating? AND interrupting you and your date whenever you want to...AHEM...kiss?


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: no ownie

oOo

#7. Haibara Ai

_"Ha...so you decide to put me on the list, huh? So...I am a very, very lucky person. My family has only been killed (yep...I'm the only one left), my body shrunk, and..guess what? I have a bunch of bloodthirsty killers after my life!"_

Yep...she is SOOO unlucky. Poor unfortunate souls...


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: Ha ha. Of course I own DC. That's EXACTLY why I'm sitting here, writing fanfiction, when I could be making millions and millions of dollars from the newest movie. Right.

oOo

#6. Toyama Kazuha

Always being in the dark, her predicament is similar-but a little bit better-than Mouri Ran's. (Heiji isn't going to shrink anytime soon.) Never being patient enough to wait for Heiji to tell her how he feels yet not being impatient enough to go ahead and tell him first, it's another typical "He likes me-or does he?" scenario.

And then there's the thing that she, Ran, and Aoko all have in common: lack of a mother in the house. We don't know what happened to Kazuha's mom, but she's the one cleaning up after her father!

Kazuha isn't unlucky, but she isn't all that fortunate either.


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: How many times do I have to repeat myself? I DON'T OWN IT! *goes and hides in corner*

oOo

#5. Takagi Wataru

Being the shy bumblehead that he is, Takagi is the officer who the Detective Boys, Conan, and Satou turn to. His patience and naiveness is being taken advantage of all the time. How sad!

Takagi doesn't really have any family disasters (e.g. drunken father, absent mother, dead sister etc.), but he has a huge one in relationships. In particular, the tentative one he has with Satou-keiji. It seems as if there's always someone showing up to ruin their...ahem...more intimate moments. God must not like him a whole awful lot, huh?

oOo

AN: I hope this was alright! Please review!


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: Do I really have to say anything? Oh, I don't own MK either.

oOo

#4. Kuroba Kaito

He's not as unlucky as Shinichi. Period.

Kaito is unlucky in the typical Aoyama-ish way. Dead (possibly; you never know with Gosho) father, mom who's always NOT at home, lack of relatives and friends (with the exception of one scary, mop-wielding girlfriend), and a mysterious organization after his life. Yeah. Sound familiar?


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: Now I'm really getting tired of writing this. The disclaimer, not the story.

oOo

#3. Mouri Ran

Ah, the inevitable, waiting girlfriend, always patiently waiting for her prince to return. _Someday my prince will come..._

Let's just not forget her karate.

But then again, her role was doomed to be an unhappy one, because Conan is not returning to Shinichi anytime soon. (There's a reason it's called "Detective Conan," not "Detective Shinichi.") And 1 simple rule of all successful shows: The male and female characters WILL NOT be happily and blissfully living together. It just doesn't work that way.

Moving on...it was bad enough dealing with Shinichi's crazy, squealing fangirls. Now there are secret admirers? Poor Ran, having all those love opponents (Ayumi, Haibara, virtually any girl who comes within 3 feet of Conan, etc.).

As mentioned in Kazuha's predicament, Ran has had to deal without her mother since...elementary school? Imagine cleaning, cooking, shopping, buying groceries, cleaning up after your dad (he just came back from playing mahjong) at 2 AM...all on top of schoolwork and waiting for a certain detective brat (his name does not have to be mentioned) to come home. Wow.


	9. Chapter 9

Disclaimer: No comment.

oOo

#2. Edogawa Conan (or Kudo Shinichi)

I bet you all saw this coming, huh? Yes, I'm including pathetic Shinichi in this list. Aside from the obvious (men in black, 7-year-old body), there are a few other points that I'd like to mention.

First things first. Let's see...he's a body magnet? Death must stalk him or something, because every time we see him, there is either:

1. A murder

2. A kidnapping

3. An arson case

4. Something equally horrible

Change that...he has bad luck. He should get Kazuha to make an omamori for him.

Then there's the whole "my-parents-abandoned-me-and-I'm-only-a-teenager" issue. Need I say more?


	10. Chapter 10

Disclaimer: DIDN'T I JUST SAY "NO COMMENT?" Oh, well, there's no reason to take my temper out on you. You're just an innocent reader who has done nothing wrong...yet. *cackles evilly*

oOo

#1. the fans

You're probably running through your mental list of character and going, "Huh? There's no character named 'the fans?'" Yep, there isn't. I'm talking about the fans. As in, me, you (otherwise you wouldn't be reading Detective Conan fanfiction), and the other crazy people who adore this show. I know, I know, we aren't exactly figments of Gosho's imagination.

Still, we are the most unlucky-or pathetic. More than Mouri Ran and Haibara Ai and Takagi Wataru. Yeah.

After searching for weeks, you finally find-insert the Detective Conan thing of your choice-! You immediately sit down to watch (or read) it. And then...your supposed dear friends, loving family, and all the other people in your life call you a Conan addict. Excuse me?

After spending that much money (or time) on it, this is what we get? After slamming the door to your room and refusing to read, watch, or mention Detective Conan for the rest of your life, you find that you really are an addi-ah, just that you really really really like the show. And what do you do? You start looking for more-insert Detective Conan thing again-. It's a hopeless cycle.

oOo

AN: ...this was funnier in the junk drawer that can be called my brain. Oh well.

P.S. Please forgive the spelling mistakes (if any)! My computer's spell-check is down, so I'm spell-checking myself. Oh, and don't forget to review!


	11. Chapter 11

I know, I know, it's the **10 **unluckiest people, not the **11**. But I couldn't resist! So here it is...please review!

oOo

#11. Kudo Shinichi

Most people would say, "He has tons of fanclubs, a brilliant mind, good friends, and a wealthy family. How lucky he is!" I'm not. Lucky, that is.

Although it may seem nice to have fanclubs, they're really annoying. They have a tendency to show up when you're trying to confess your feelings for...someone. Not that I have a special someone, ha ha.

As for the 'wealthy family' part, it can be disrupting when your father spends more time with his editors than he does with you, and when your mother is always bombarding you with stories about "my golden days."

I have to be able to fly an airplane, shoot a gun, fly a helicopter, steer a boat...what am I? A superhuman? It's not like I'm the main character in an anime that's being manipulated by a director...or am I?

oOo

AN: Started out great in my brain, not so good on paper. Does no one like these stories? Please review!


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